Alyson Stoner looks back on their Katniss Everdeen audition for The Hunger Games in their new memoir. Based on the Suzanne Collins novel of the same name, the first installment in the hit action adventure franchise was released in 2012.

The first film introduced Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen, with the rest of the cast including Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Stanley Tucci, Elizabeth Banks, and Woody Harrelson, among others. The film was a hit, paving the way for three direct sequels and a prequel, with another prequel called The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping now on the way.

In a new excerpt from their memoir, Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything, (via Vanity Fair) Stoner, who uses they/ them pronouns, reflects on their attempt to join the Hunger Games franchise in the lead role. The actor recalls the grueling lead up to the audition itself, months of training and a strict diet, all while battling an eating disorder:

Doctors and trainers should’ve never permitted an underweight minor to do seven hours of fourteen-mile hikes, heavy lifting, and high-intensity cardio. But all I had to say was that I was training for an acting role.

Stoner reveals that they ultimately took their preparation too far, and that they ended up coming down with the flu in the weeks before they were set to audition:

By the end of the two weeks, my arms and abs could cut glᴀss. My body fat percentage dropped into the range of elite gymnasts. I had never been stronger, and I felt indomitable. And then, the tipping point came.

Obsession activated and I got hooked on the extreme regimen like a bodybuilder in compeтιтion prep. My immune system weakened and my adrenals were depleted from overtraining. I tweaked my tricep and fractured a finger. But I pushed through the fatigue and lightheadedness, even after catching a flu bug that lingered for three weeks.

After pushing the audition to the last possible slot and still on the tail end of their sickness, Stoner then did the audition, channeling Katniss’ confidence and physicality:

“Last of the day. Come on in,” a casting ᴀssociate said, waving me in. I rose to my feet and pretended that I wasn’t blacking out when I handed her my headsH๏τ. “Stand on the red X. We’ll just do the first two scenes. Any questions?” They cut the third scene. Did they already find their top candidates?

“No questions up front. But if it’s a miss, let me know and I’ll adjust,” I answered as one of my strategies to demonstrate confidence but also directability.

She framed up the camcorder as I created the postapocalyptic world around me. I sorted out my eyelines—I’d address Gale on camera-left and speak to Prim on the right.

We ran the first scene, and I made sure my face caught the natural shadow in the room to intensify the mood.

“Great. No notes. Let’s do scene two,” she ushered on. Did I actually nail it or is she just ready to go home?

“Are you framing in a medium sH๏τ or close-up?” I asked, bidding for more presence so I could leave a memorable mark. Plus, camera framing affected performance. If we were wide, I’d express the emotions more proportionately to real life. If she was тιԍнт, you hardly had to think about a line, and the camera would detect an expression loudly and clearly.

“Staying close up,” she confirmed. Then subtlety is key. Keep it all in the eyes.

We enacted the inciting moment when Katniss stepped in to take her sister’s place in the Hunger Games.

“I volunteer as tribute!” I declared with every fiber of my being, my face sharply serious.

“And . . . cut,” she announced. Still in character, I asked for any notes. “Nope, that was great work. Thank you for coming in.” Her body language indicated the appointment was complete.

“Okay, thank you! Have a good rest of your day!” I said exuberantly.

Instead of releasing the audition after leaving the building, I carried it with me everywhere. Days ticked on, and my agents asked around town for intel.

Stoner then recalls an eating binge brought on by their extreme hunger, and it was after this that they found out they didn’t get the role:

I canceled my vocal lesson and dance training, falling into a black hole of self-hatred. Somewhere in the abyss, I received the email I had been waiting for: “Heard this morning from casting. They have their short list. You aren’t moving forward. You can remove it from your plate.” Just perfect. I’ve moved on to filling my plate with doughnuts, don’t worry.

I sat on my bed with vacant eyes and a distant mind. I didn’t know what to do with myself.

What This Meant For Alyson Stoner & The Hunger Games

Now 10 years removed from The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2 (2015), Katniss remains the defining role of Lawrence’s career. The actor was poised for success in Hollywood before joining the franchise – she was nominated for an Oscar for her performance in Winter’s Bone (2010) – but the YA series of movies catapulted her to an entirely new level of stardom.

Lawrence is also one key to The Hunger Games‘ lasting popularity. Since the conclusion of Katniss’ story, the subsequent installments have been prequels, shaping and further contextualizing elements of the Everdeen saga.

Stoner was an icon of the Disney Channel, appearing in shows like The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and That’s So Raven, as well as the Disney Channel movie Camp Rock (2008). Outside of their Disney Channel exploits, Stoner also appeared in projects like Cheaper by the Dozen (2003), Drake & Josh, and Step Up (2006).

Though Stoner remains active as an actor, including in a voice role in Phineas and Ferb, starring as Katniss evidently would’ve totally altered the trajectory of their career, potentially paving the way for more leading roles in major movies.

Our Take On Stoner’s Hunger Games Audition

Even before the release of the first Hunger Games movie, the books were wildly popular, and Katniss was evidently seen as a very desirable role for actors around Stoner’s age. The excerpt from Stoner’s memoir makes clear just how draining and demanding the audition process can be, and how disappointing it is when all that work doesn’t lead to landing the role.

Though The Hunger Games clearly found the right actor for Katniss with Lawrence, it’s still interesting to imagine how the franchise would be different today if Stoner had gotten the part.

Source: Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything by Alyson Stoner (via Vanity Fair)