Contains spoilers for all movies discussed.
A beloved and longstanding staple of popular culture, the Western genre has produced some of the finest movies of all time. From classic offerings like Sergio Leone’s The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, all the way to more modern standouts in the vein of Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained, the best Western movies ever made have also played host to some of the most iconic one-liners in cinematic history, resulting in a collection of memorable soundbites capable of giving any genre a run for its money.
From menacing threats turned in by the greatest Western villains to pithy quotes and retorts from the genre’s most memorable antiheroes, the greatest Western movie one-liners of all time have encompᴀssed a wide range of scenarios and characters. However, these immortal pieces of dialogue all have one thing in common: an innate level of quotability and memorability that has landed them iconic status in popular culture, a state of affairs that has persisted for more than half a century in some cases.
10
“One Hell Of A Time To Tell Me!”
Butch Cᴀssidy And The Sundance Kid (1969)
Widely regarded as a Western that has helped define the modern genre, 1969’s Butch Cᴀssidy and the Sundance Kid provides a more lighthearted take on proceedings than many of the genre’s most seminal offerings. While the movie ultimately sees Robert Redford and Paul Newman’s тιтular duo bite the dust after being cornered by the authorities, director George Roy Hill still manages to imbue the final stages of the legendary gunslingers’ lives with the buddy Western’s trademark air of levity.
Outnumbered by a large gang of outlaws in Bolivia, Sundance surrepтιтiously inquires if his partner can cover the men on the right, only for Cᴀssidy to pick the worst time physically imaginable to inform the Kid that he’s never actually sH๏τ anybody before. The look of frozen disbelief on Robert Redford’s face is absolute gold, long before he rounds things off by grimly ᴅᴇᴀᴅpanning: “One hell of a time to tell me.”
9
“You Brought Two Too Many.”
Once Upon A Time In The West (1968)
One of the best opening movie scenes in cinematic history, 1968’s Once Upon a Time in the West introduces Charles Bronson’s Harmonica in unforgettable fashion, a scene that also happens to feature one of the genre’s finest one-liners. The iconic sequence sees the gunslinger confronted by a trio of bandits at a railway station, with Harmonica revealed to the eerie strains of his signature instrument as the train pulls away from the platform.
Cooly playing his harmonica as his ambushers approach, Bronson’s protagonist never takes his eyes off the bandits for a second. The men laugh derisively when he asks whether they have brought a mount for him too, sarcastically opining that it “looks like they’re shy one horse.” The smile rapidly fading from behind his eyes, Harmonica menacingly shakes his head before gunning the three bandits down in a thrilling instant: “You brought two too many.”
8
“What’s The Most You Ever Lost On A Coin Toss?”
No Country For Old Men (2007)
One of the greatest Western supporting roles in cinematic history, Javier Bardem’s bow as Anton Chigurh in 2007’s No Country for Old Men was met with rave reviews, earning him an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his take on Cormac McCarthy’s psycH๏τic cartel hitman. One of cinema’s most memorable characters, Chigurh is arguably just as synonymous with a recurring piece of dialogue throughout the movie as he is with his signature cattle gun.
On more than one occasion, Bardem’s charge can be seen to leave the fate of his victims down to a coin toss. The movie’s most memorable example of this chilling status quo forms the basis of one of its finest scenes. Confronted with a gas station employee and potential witness in the film’s early goings, Chigurh produces arguably the genre’s most menacing piece of dialogue before proceeding to play a literal game of 50-50 chance with a human life: “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?”
7
“I Call That Bold Talk For A One-Eyed Fat Man!”
True Grit (2010)
An iconic scene that plays out in virtually identical fashion between the 1969 original and the 2010 remake, the Coen brothers’ take on True Grit’s most epic confrontation is just another area where their genre-revitalizing adaptation comes out on top. The scene in question sees Jeff Bridges’ Rooster Cogburn confront Ned Pepper’s gang in a four-to-one standoff. As he informs the men of his plans to dispatch them, Cogburn’s boldness prompts Barry Pepper’s charge to mockingly produce one of the best Western one-liners of all time: “I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!”
Of course, the memorability of Pepper’s instantly quotable soundbite isn’t hurt by the fact that the line is immediately followed by another iconic Western one-liner in response. Embarking on his epic one-man army act, Rooster’s equally legendary riposte of “Fill your hand, you son of a b****!” before he charges Pepper and his gang single-handedly is just another immortal quote to come out of this indispensable Western outing.
6
“When You Have To Shoot, Shoot. Don’t Talk.”
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (1966)
While Clint Eastwood’s Blondie is unsurprisingly the first name that comes to mind when one thinks of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, there’s a valid argument to be made that Eli Wallach’s Tuco was the best part of Sergio Leone’s Western classic. Case in point? Tuco is the man behind the most memorable piece of dialogue ᴀssociated with the iconic 1966 outing, a scene that sees him get the drop on a vengeful ᴀssᴀssin despite being ambushed in the act of taking a bath.
Despite his gloating foe purportedly finding him in “exactly the position” that suits him, Wallach’s charge guns his pursuer down through his bath bubbles with barely a moment’s hesitation. Coolly performing the coup de grâce on his stricken foe, Tuco wryly produces a Western movie life lesson for the ages with one of the genre’s finest lines: “If you have to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk.”
5
“My Mistake. Four Coffins.”
A Fistful Of Dollars (1964)
While he may not be the genre’s most quotable character, Clint Eastwood’s leading man was still capable of producing more than a few iconic soundbites throughout the course of three appearances in Sergio Leone’s Dollars trilogy. He wasted no time in doing it either, with what is arguably the Man with No Name’s best quote coming in the early goings of his first movie appearance, 1964’s A Fistful of Dollars.
Coolly advising the town’s undertaker to “Get three coffins ready,” Eastwood’s charge proceeds to effortlessly dispatch four local bandits who had insulted him previously. While special mention must also be reserved for his iconic “Apologize to my mule” speech immediately prior, “Joe” places the cherry on this sequence’s cake by ᴅᴇᴀᴅpanning his slight miscalculation to the bemused undertaker as he walks past: “My mistake, four coffins.”
4
“I Like The Way You Die, Boy.”
Django Unchained (2012)
Doubling as one of the greatest Western quick draw moments as well as one of the genre’s foremost one-liners, Django Freeman’s vicious sign-off to John Brittle is virtually synonymous with Quentin Tarantino’s 2012 revisionist Western masterpiece, Django Unchained. Jamie Foxx’s charge partially avenges his wife’s earlier torment by gunning down the vile slaver before he can even comprehend what is happening, punctuating his vengeance with an immortal piece of dialogue.
Django Unchained has a rating of 8.5 on IMDb.
During his time on Django’s old plantation, John sadistically mocked Django’s pleas for the Brittle brothers to go easy during Broomhilda’s whipping, cruelly taunting “I like the way you beg, boy.” Shooting Brittle through the chest with a concealed pistol in the present, Django advances on his stunned and stricken foe before confirming the tables have well and truly turned, producing the movie’s most iconic quote of “I like the way you die, boy” as the dying slaver slumps face forwards.
3
“Deserve’s Got Nothing To Do With It.”
Unforgiven (1992)
One of the greatest Westerns of all time, 1992’s Unforgiven presented an unyielding look at the savage reality of the Old West. At its core, Unforgiven is a story about a bad man’s efforts to exact vengeance on another bad man, a state of affairs exemplified by William Munny’s parting riposte to “Little” Bill Daggett. Mortally wounded by Eastwood’s charge in retribution for Ned Logan’s death, Gene Hackman’s iconic villain laments his impending doom, arguing that he doesn’t deserve his fate.
Leveling his sH๏τgun with a growl of implacable vengeance, Eastwood’s charge is unmoved: “Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.” At the end of the day, the ruthlessness of Munny’s quote exemplifies the unflinching realism and brutal simplicity that makes Unforgiven such a masterful Western. Manifest destiny and romanticized outlaw gangs be damned; Daggett killed Munny’s friend, so Munny is returning the favor. Hackman’s charge might be spot on, but notions of right and wrong matter little in the face of a vengeful friend.
2
“Dyin’ Ain’t Much Of A Livin’ Boy”
The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)
Widely regarded as one of Clint Eastwood’s best movies, 1976’s The Outlaw Josey Wales plays host to one of his most quotable characters. The eponymous Civil War veteran and gunslinger has a penchant for producing some of the most ice-cool soundbites that the Western genre has ever witnessed, a state of affairs aided by Eastwood’s trademark gravelly cadence and style of delivery.
Eastwood fired the movie’s original director, Philip Kaufman, taking the reins himself for the remainder of production and prompting the later creation of the “Eastwood rule.”
While special mention must be reserved for his immortal “Well, are you gonna’ pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?” soundbite, Wales’ best quote sees him back down a would-be bounty hunter with no more than a sinister growl. After the young man almost sheepishly excuses his line of work by arguing that “a man’s got to do something for a living,” Wales menacingly advises him against trying his luck with him through a not-so-cryptic warning and a ferocious glare: “Dyin’ ain’t much of a livin’ boy.”
1
“I’m Your Huckleberry.”
Tombstone (1993)
The most quotable Western movie character of all time, it would stand to reason that Val Kilmer’s Doc Holliday was the man behind its greatest one-liner. The Tombstone star is credited with many of the movie and the wider genre’s greatest soundbites, but none greater than his “I’m your Huckleberry” one-liner. Issued on multiple occasions throughout the film to Holliday’s nemesis, Micheal Biehn’s Johnny Ringo, the quote’s most memorable appearance comes during the climactic duel between the pair in the movie’s later goings.
Emerging from the shadows to the sound of his trademark soundbite like a Stetson-wearing Grim Reaper, Holliday’s ice-cool quote wins him the duel long before he puts a bullet through Ringo’s head. Surveying his nervous foe with a contemptuous lack of respect, Kilmer underlines this state of affairs with another unforgettably cold line for the ages to seal this scene’s iconic status: “Why, Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave.”
