Old Guy Review: I’m Baffled At How This Action Comedy Could Be So Flat & Boring While Making Lucy Liu Look Bad

Typically occupied by Liam Neeson, we seem to be in an era of the aging hit man/killer story. In the movies, this has taken the form of Neeson’s In the Land of Saints and Sinners, and on TV, Sylvester Stallone fills this subgenre by playing septuagenarian mafia alum Dwight Manfredi in Tulsa King. It is only February, but 2025 has already found its way into the maturing murderer niche by way of Simon West’s Old Guy.

Old Guy is like everything we’ve seen before. In the first few minutes, we are introduced to contract killer Danny Dolinski (Christoph Waltz), a man who is both curmudgeonly and still full of the clubbing, party spirit in his older age. As his murder company looks to modernize, he is tasked to train an up-and-coming ᴀssᴀssin, Wihlborg (Cooper Hoffman), who, in an underutilized twist, doesn’t like guns. There are hints of the Kingsman franchise, a lot of knock-off In Bruges moments, and very little else to offer.

Old Guy is thoroughly unoriginal. It is also bad, and at times bafflingly so. Though one of its biggest downsides is its forgettable nature, I’ve spent time trying to unwind what makes the film such a flop, and have come to a few conclusions that at least partially help to make sense of the film.

Christoph Waltz’s Perturbed Protagonist Shines

He’s So Good In The Role That It Seems Like He’s Also Annoyed By His Co-Stars

After a well-designed тιтle sequence, Old Guy opens with the clear establishment of Danny Dolinski. He’s seen in a club — an environment the film will return to several times with very little distinction — partying it up, then drunkenly hobbling out of bed the morning after. As the scene transitions to showing Dolinski in his restaurant kitchen day job, Waltz is instantly charismatic in the role, even when it is revealed he is a murderer for hire. He is gruff, good with a gun, and perturbed by the perils of working as a contractor.

Cooper Hoffman is the son of late actor Philip Seymour Hoffman. He made his onscreen debut in the Oscar-nominated movie Licorice Pizza in 2021.

Waltz plays irked incredibly well, but his acting is almost too believable. As Waltz acts opposite the wooden Hoffman, who fails to balance Wilhborg’s upтιԍнт-but-annoying Gen Z character, I could not help but wonder if Waltz’s annoyance was coming from a place of genuine frustration with his co-stars. Waltz is doing his best to save this flat, lazily plotted film, but what he has to work with is a scene partner who manages flat deliveries of dense lines like “I think animals will be eating his flesh if it weren’t for me.”

Old Guy Is Ultimately Just Going Through The Motions

It Was Indeed A Challenge For Them To Simulate Being Human

From its choppy audio editing to its trite and thin plot, there is a lot to complain about when it comes to Old Guy, making it hard to pinpoint why the film is so bad. It is the second screenplay from writer Greg Johnson, and the plain narrative is fittingly sophomoric. Despite Old Guy‘s multinational action, it seems like the film is just going through the Hollywood movie motions. There’s violence, there’s an odd couple duo at the core of the film, and even a forced romance between Lucy Liu’s character and Waltz that is underdeveloped.

It is just guns and running around.

Director Simon West’s incompetence is far less excusable than Johnson’s more amateur work. The director behind Con Air and Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, West is experienced in the action realm. Still, Old Guy is far from being as high-octane and engaging as an action film should be. In blocking sequences, West regularly chooses the least interesting path forward.

For example, there is a scene on a golf course where action suddenly erupts. Logically, he is going to make use of those golf carts, right? No. The bad guys abandon their golf carts and make a mad dash for the forest. From there, the scene becomes a microcosm for what the rest of the combat choreography in Old Guy looks like. It’s just guns and running around.

In one of Old Guy‘s weak attempts to create character depth, Dolinski asks Wihlborg “Is it a challenge for you to simulate being human?Ultimately, it is the film itself that struggles to reflect the human experience. Kill Bill extraordinaire Lucy Liu is not a bad actor, but West certainly makes it seem that way, making her look bad in the process. The film’s dialogue is insincere and cookie-cutter, failing to deliver naturalistic character growth. And surmounting its inefficacy at simulating humanity is perhaps Old Guy‘s most glaring action movie sin: it’s truly boring.

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