One Of A Real Pain’s Most Important Characters Never Appears In The Film & That’s Good

The following contains spoilers for A Real Pain, now streaming on Hulu

The following article contains mention of suicide.

One of A Real Pain‘s most important characters doesn’t actually appear in the film. The critically acclaimed dramedy focuses on a pair of cousins, David and Benji, who decide to embark on a trip to Poland together. Having grown up close, the pair have increasingly become distant in recent years. The film stars Jessie Eisenberg and Kieran Culkin, with much of the narrative remaining laser-focused on their rapport and arcs as they accompany others on a trip through Poland that visits many landmarks and important sites from World War II and the Holocaust.

A Real Pain is a frequently funny and consistently affecting film, with real pathos and great performances. One of the best elements of the movie is also one of the most surprising, given the way it turns one of the narrative’s most important characters into an unseen figure. This is actually a deft choice on the part of Eisenberg (who also wrote and directed the film), as it keeps the focus on the central protagonists and reinforces one of the film’s most powerful themes that becomes apparent by A Real Pain‘s ending.

Grandma Dory Set The Plot In Motion But Never Appears In A Real Pain

Grandma Dory Is A Big Presence In A Real Pain Even If She Never Appears

Despite being one of the most important characters within the narrative of A Real Pain, Grandma Dory is ᴅᴇᴀᴅ by the events of the plot and unseen throughout the film. Grandma Dory is the entire reason A Real Pain‘s plotline is set in motion, as her relatively recent death spurs cousins Benji and David to visit her homeland of Poland. Throughout the film, the two men refer to Dory’s influence on them, the stories they had heard before she was forced to flee the country, and how she directly impacted their lives. However, there are never any flashbacks to Dory.

Instead, Dory remains entirely a memory within the context of the film. David and Benji’s recollections about her shift as the movie goes on, ranging from sweet reminiscings to realizations of her harsher opinions on them. Benji’s particularly close relationship with Dory is a major element of the film, as he was extremely shaken by her death and is revealed to have even attempted suicide after her pᴀssing. This level of importance in the film would lead some to expect a flashback or cameo by the character, but she remains an unseen memory throughout.

Why It’s Good A Real Pain Never Shows Grandma Dory

Grandma Dory Living On As A Memory Serves The Film’s Central Themes


Jesse Eisenberg & Kieran Culkin sitting in the lobby in A Real Pain

There’s a lot of good reasons why A Real Pain avoided making Grandma Dory a character in the plot instead of a presence in the story. This kept the focus almost entirely on David and Benji, allowing her memory to filter through them. Audiences see her through their memories, allowing the film to remain focused on their arcs. A cameo from a well-known actress as Dory might have been distracting, and would have shaded how audiences viewed her. Instead, she remains a force on Benji and David that continues to influence them far beyond her death.

Dory is an unseen personification of that theme in A Real Pain, something that would have been potentially lost if she appeared.

One of the most emotionally resonant elements of A Real Pain comes to light when Benji confronts their Holocaust tour guide James about treating people like statistics instead of as people. James later thanks Benji for forcing him to adjust his perspective, underlying the sheer scale of people that were present (and lost) during the Holocaust. They live on through the memories of them that people carry on, much like Benji and David keep Dory alive through them. Dory is an unseen personification of that theme in A Real Pain, something that would have been potentially lost if she appeared.

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